I am starting this blog because my life has come to a crossroads and I can't see the light at the end of this tunnel. A year and a half ago, I was a content home school teacher with my bright, but very hyper 16 year old as my student, and somewhat contented mother of a grown daughter, who made me the very happy Nana of two BEAUTIFUL granddaughters, the oldest being my three year old Katiebug, and my very busy six month old, Laura Beth, later to be termed "monkey". I was somewhat content as a mother because my oldest daughter and my teen daughter do not always get along. That was my biggest problem back in those days.... I did not have a lot of serious problems, and I was pretty content.... However my world suddenly and unexpectedly changed on May 14, 2009. The world as I knew it and as my grown daughter knew it, and also as my 16 year old daughter knew it changed forever that day. We were blindsided by a BEAST Called childhood cancer, and our lives were irreparably fractured that beautiful spring day when we heard the words" Katie has neuroblastoma stage IV cancer. This was so unexpected and so mind numbing, and so frightening. But there you have it, that is the monster that took our naive sense of content and blew it to pieces. Since that day my life has been on a downhill roller coaster toward heartbreak and ruin. So much has happened this last sixteen months or so that I really don't know where to begin or even if I can remember all the facts of what exactly has happened but I sure remember the pain it has caused me, my daughter who is Katie's mom, my husband of 22 years and my teen age daughter. Even Laura Beth, henceforth called {"monkey" has not skated by with out her fair share of pain and confusion.
Katie had been ill for a couple of months and the local pediatrician said that she had mononucleosis. A three year old with mono? That never made sense to me.... but they could not figure out what was wrong. She first had trouble walking, out of the blue one day. Then she seemed to have contracted some kind of virus; she became pale and did not want to eat much, and she was just really tired. That was around the end of February. By the first part of May, I went up to see my beautiful grand babies, and to attend a Mother's Day tea with my Oldest Daughter. The minute I saw Katie I knew something was very wrong. Of course it was more obvious to me since I had not seen her in a couple of months. By the way I don't ever plan to go that long again with out seeing my "monkey", for she is the only granddaughter I have now. But I am getting ahead of myself.
My daughter and I talked at length about Katie's illness and she once again said the local pediatrician said Katie had mono. We both agreed that she should follow up and try to get Katie referred to Texas Children's Hospital ASAP. If we had only known how much time we , as well as Katie, would be spending there in this past year and a half, and how the whole thing would play out and how the ending as well as the path to the ending, well we would have most likely been frightened to death ourselves. I wish I had started this blog then, back in May of 2009, but since I did not, I will just have to catch you up a little at a time.
Well back to this segment of my story..... My beautiful little three year old granddaughter started on a chemotherapy plan in the hopes of destroying this beast called Neuroblastoma within her tiny body. She was always tiny and petite, but she became even more tiny as her body was ravaged by the harshest of chemo in the hopes of killing this monster inside her that would kill her if we couldn't stop it. The first change came when the doctors suggested we get her beautiful blond hair cut short in a bob so she would not have as drastic a shock when the chemo made it begin to fall out. Then her hair actually began to fall out, and it became so wiry. However this brave little grand baby of mine didn't seem to be phased by it. She refused to wear the hats we tried to put on her, and she refused to be worried by all her pretty hair ending up on her pillow, a little at a time. She just kept smiling, right through the throwing up and the diareah and the fevers. She was her very own person and she didn't change much, at least not at first, and then when she did, it seemed as if she only became wiser.... and more brave. She underwent six rounds of front line therapy, one complete resection of her main tumor,which took more than thirteen hours of surgery, and then high dose chemo and stem cell transplant with more grace than most grown people ever could muster. There were late night emergency trips to the hospital, for fevers, and many many hospital stays during the past sixteen months, and those of us who are adults got very grumpy and very frustrated and very tired, but Katie was a trooper. She got grumpy, sure, she was three years old! But all three year- olds get grumpy. She became really afraid even at times, but through the first year at least , she did not ever ever give up. She just knew Jesus was gonna heal her, so she just did the best she could, and believe me that best was remarkable. There were times when she was in the Pediatric ICU and times during her stem cell transplant where we were not sure if she would live. She had a septic infection more than once. That is where the infection gets in the blood. She was very critical. But she pulled through. Now that is all I am going to cover in this segment. Tomorrow you can come here and read the "rest of the story" tomorrow. Thank you for reading. May God truly bless you tonight and may you know that you are recieving a blessing. This Nana is signing off now.
